Luxury Mens Watches

… you complain about the “liberal media” (CBS, NBC, ABC, New York Times, etc.) on any of the numerous conservative political radio talk shows.

… you have a bumper sticker that says “Insured by Smith and Wesson.”

… you believe the hole in the ozone layer to be a myth created by crazy liberals.

… you fervently speak about the evils of marijuana at social gatherings with a vodka straight in hand.

… you believe the Constitution states that Christianity is our official religion.

… you believe that elected officials should have no immunity to laws that you yourself must abide by.
(Somewhere, a Liberal just muttered “Wait a second…”)

… you think the words feminist and lesbian are synonyms.

… you fit any of Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneck if…”

… you believe every man, woman, and child should be armed to the teeth with AK-47’s, hand grenades, handguns, and any other weapon imaginable. Wait, that should read “You might be a Liberal if you actually think that Conservatives believe…”

… you believe in the importance of individual responsibility, and do not wish for the government to tell you how to live.

… you have faith in economic policies such as “trickle down economics.”

… you think that Michaelangelo’s David should be wearing boxers at the least.

… the hostess at the Sizzler knows you by name.

… you have a button that says “I’m not prejudiced, I hate everyone.”

… you can ask your daddy to bail you out when you lose hundreds of thousands of dollars from embezzling S&L’s.

… your get your opinions from an egocentric man named Rush who distorts facts consistently to fit his views.

… you obsessively impose your own morality upon others. Hmmm.. A common denominator…

… you ever wanted to amend the Constitution to make desecration of the flag illegal.

… you believe that if parents and teachers don’t mention sex to a child until s/he is 16, then s/he won’t even know it exists until then.

… you think it might be a good idea to don rubber gloves before shaking hands with a homosexual.

… you believe so strongly in the importance of equality that you are against giving groups of people special benefits based on their race or religion.

… you helped to ban Beavis from saying “fire,” yet keep a loaded handgun in the house.

… you think “proletariat” is a type of cheese.

… you’ve named your kids “Deduction one” and “Deduction two.”

… you’ve tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.

… you’ve ever referred to someone as “my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend.”

… you’ve ever tried to argue that Jesus was a Capitalist.

… you’re a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

… you think Huey Newton is a cookie.

… the only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they’re richer than you.

… you understand that politicians are not gods, are human beings and are not better than you, and do not necessarily know what is best FOR you.

… you think you might remember laughing once as a kid.

… you once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.

… you’ve ever referred to the moral fiber of something.

… you understand the goodness of cultural diversity, but also realize the harm of mass illegal immigration.

… you’ve ever uttered the phrase, “Why don’t we just bomb the sons of bitches.”

… you’ve ever said, “I can’t wait to get into business school.”

… you actually think that there are people who own fully automatic AK-47’s for “hunting purposes.” (Actually, that should appear on the “You Might be a Liberal” list too…)

… you’ve ever called a secretary or waitress “Toots.”

… you answer to “The Man.”

… you use any of these terms to describe your wife: old ball and chain, little woman, old lady, tax credit…

… you’ve ever yelled, “Hey hippie, get a haircut.”

… you think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969.

… you argue that you need lots of handguns in case a bear ever attacks your home.

… you’ve ever said “Clean air? Looks clean to me.”

… you spent MLK Day reading “The Bell Curve.”

… you’ve ever called education a luxury.

… you realize that although taxation is necessary, you are over-taxed.

… you think that it’s arrogant and condescending when white people act as if African Americans couldn’t make it without their help.

… you wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.

… you came of age in the ‘60s and don’t remember Bob Dylan.

… you ever based an argument on the phrase, “Well, tradition dictates….”

… you’ve ever called the National Endowment for the Arts a bunch of pornographers.

… you think all artists are gay.

… you ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch “lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn’t want to contribute to society.”

… you’ve ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don’t even have shoes.
In response to same question asking about liberals.